Life || My bullying story

by - 11:00:00

Today I am here with a very personal blog post, It has taking me a lot to write and post this and I hope that it can help some of you out there who may be in a similar situation than the one that I was in. 

From year 4 in primary school up until I left high school in year 11, I was bullied.

Not many people knew the extent of what was happening and I wouldn't have admitted to being bullied if anyone had have asked me, but looking back on it - it was bullying. 

I didn't get it as bad as some people do but it really affected me and it still affects me to this day.

I got loads of comments about the way I looked, these are the ones that have stuck with me and I can't seem to forget about them; People said that I looked like I had been electrocuted because I had frizzy hair, I had comments about the bad spots on my forehead which took me years to get rid of, I was chubby, I was ugly among other things.
Looking back, I was stupid to believe them!
I wasn't chubby back then, I was slimmer than I am now and I am not that chubby. 
I wasn't 'ugly', I used products on my hair to get rid of the frizz, ate less and covered up my spots with makeup everyday (which made them worse, but covered them for school) just for all those people who made nasty comments and made me feel like I had to change. 
I was wrong to do that, I should have made those changes for me, everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way.

Here comes an embarrassing story, I can't believe I am about to tell you this, okay here we go..

In year six, I was so desperate for the toilet and my teacher wouldn't let me go because it was prayer time. Half way through prayers, I wet myself. I couldn't help it. I was reminded of this day all the way up until I left high school at the end of year 11. That story spread around my year again in year 11 and I tried so hard to deny it and convince everyone that it never happened.

Another thing I was bullied for in year 10 & 11 was my sexuality. I don't really care for genders, if I like someone then I like them and that's that. Other girls used to make jokes in the girls changing rooms about me and used to say I was watching them and waiting for them to undress which was completely untrue, I felt so hurt every time this happened. I used to make excuses all the time so I didn't have to do PE or get changed. 

When I was going out with a girl from my school, I got bullied a lot by one specific girl who used to ask me loads of questions about my relationship and laugh and say nasty things when I refused to answer and said it was nothing to do with her. It's funny because that girl is now a lesbian with a girlfriend, oh life.

I also got a lot of comments because I had colours in my hair, many piercings and I also had a stretched ear.

All these comments left me with no confidence, I still don't have much confidence in myself and I can't remember the last time I actually liked myself and felt comfortable being me in my skin. 

I feel like if I tried harder not to let the comments get to me and stood up for myself, I would be a completely different person. 

The only photo I could find of younger me (and my bunny, Charlie)

If I could talk to my past self, I would tell her that she is strong and beautiful and that she is better than all those people that are trying to hurt her and bring her down. 

If you are going through a situation like I did, tell someone you trust (A family member, a friend or even a councellor) and don't believe the lies the bullies tell about you.
  You are you and you are amazing.

Danielle xo

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10 comments

  1. You never told me all this..You hid so much from me..I feel said reading about your past but so happy you now realise you were the better person;and always will be. The bullies are the ugly ones. You are beautiful both inside and out......I Love you xxx xxx xxx

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  2. Hey Danielle, sorry I had no idea you got bullied like that, I would've tried to be a better mate but you know high school was the shit wasn't it.

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    1. Yeah, it was aha!
      I could have also been a better friend to you
      xo

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  3. People can be so unnecessarily cruel. You seem like such a wonderful, incredibly lovely person and I hope that your confidence continues to grow. I didn't have the best time at school, there were a lot of things going on that I didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about, so I kind of drifted away from a lot of the people that used to be my friends. I had very little confidence within myself, and although it took time I eventually began to feel comfortable with myself and rediscovered my confidence. You're fabulous, don't forget that! xo

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    1. I'm so happy you found yourself again :)
      Thank you very much, that means a lot :)
      xo

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  4. I'm sorry to hear about this, I know it's not easy. I found when I started High School that's when bullying for me started... however it reached an extent where it was much more than verbal attacks, but became physical.

    I remember being 13/14 at the time, and I was shopping with friends. It was a half day because we were due to finish for our holidays, only I spent two months recovering from bruised muscles in my neck and back and to this day I still have problems with my spine. Oh the joys. I'm lucky It wasn't much worse... but I'm glad I was able to overcome that on my own - just like I know you will x

    www.sheintheknow.co.uk

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that, but I'm glad that you were able to overcome it :)

      Thank you very much, I honestly do feel a bit better now that I've got it all out my head :) Should have done this a long time ago!

      xo

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  5. So much of what you've said rings so true for me too - particularly wetting yourself in year 6 and being reminded of it till year 11. I once farted in my sleep at a sleep over in year 5 and my 'best friend' reminded me, told everyone she could think of and taunted me about it till year 12; looking back on it I wish I'd told her to shut up and that it wasn't anything to be bothered about 7 years on but hindsight is a lovely thing.

    I'm glad you've been able to put it behind you, experiences like these make us stronger people later on and give us a much better sense of clarity :)

    Megan x
    London Callings

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    1. That's horrible, I'm sorry that you went through that and I'm glad you can also put it behind you :)

      xo

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